What a difference a day made

You know how we all want to get into shape at some point and end up hitting the gym for a week or two, out of the guilt of paying a hefty enrollment fee? Yes? Then, you might also remember how you would shamelessly shelve away your work outs because of your "busy life" that obviously would never discourage you from eating any more. As a result, you would suggest yourself to buy a treadmill, so you can workout any time at home, barring the possibility of how you're gonna be more prone to crossing the obese line :p !
If you're thinking what a bad idea it was to invest in gym equipment, don't worry, am just getting to the point.

So, you buy the treadmill. Your face is gleaming with joy, as you look at the lifeless machine lying at the corner of your room, placed opposite your TV, to make your workout more entertaining. After having envisioned a thinner, beautiful you, you can't wait to get back in to routine! You're already dreaming of the dress you saw at the store the other day, that you couldn't fit in. Already thinking of how you're gonna make eye balls roll when you're gonna flaunt it at some wedding party. The list goes on, but the best one would be when those slim twits finally start getting creative at opening a conversation, unlike all other times when all they could notice (on purpose, that is) was how plump you've gotten! All these positive, sunshine thoughts in just one day, because now you own a treadmill.

Yeah, but sadly, these determined thoughts are eaten away by the aroma of the brunch, usually served hot  from your mother's kitchen, or, driving past KFC. In the evening, you can feel the treadmill looking at your flabs, mocking it to glory, but expectantly you're lured away by hot coffee and pazhampori, or shall I call it a brief mini-lunch? So, being a Sunday, you would rather not waste your time by sweating it out, and would gladly settle for an outing.

Then comes Monday. Everybody hates Monday. It's a gloomy day, so it's ok if you postpone it for another day. On Tuesday, you're just getting used to gathering yourself up for work (and out of hangover). Moreover, it isn't a good day to start such positive things. My aunt said so. Some myth, it is. Then follows W-T-F, which obviously for reasons better known to the alphabets cannot be used to inaugurate the machine!

Then comes our hero, Saturday. A very positive day. The beginning of a weekend, perfect to get the machine into working. And you do so, finally. You gear up and get closer to the machine and bend down. Your neighbour from the opposite window is impressed with your warming up stretches, only to see you rising up to hang the wet clothes out of the washing machine on the treadmill holder :)


P.S. now playing : what a difference a day made- jamie cullum

Children of God

'I bent over to pick up a paper plate and all of sudden my sister nudges me, asking to attend to a child who wanted another plate of goodies. I turned back and before I could even notice who it was, the little boy stretched out his hand, wanting to get a bite of that tasty egg puff. Though he was only two years old and the most talkative kid, I couldn't stop myself from the overflowing sympathy that came  after seeing a tube attached to his hand. It was a tube meant for vein location, when in need for extracting blood. He is suffering from blood cancer.'

I entered the 'Pediatrics Oncology Department' inside the RCC. It was one of the most colourful rooms I had seen in a long, long time. One of the walls had been painted over with the four cute characters from Madagascar. There was a huge pineapple cake with my name inscribed on it, looking as delicious as ever. There was even a paper cut out that read 'Happy Bday' stuck on a cupboard. Excitement turned into empathy on seeing a bunch of little kids undergoing cancer treatment, who were seated with their mothers. It is one of those days where I found it to be a life changing experience. It's not the pain or fear of death. Everyone goes through a lot of pain in different ways, right? But what hit me was their indifference towards their situation. They were all too young to realize what pain is, yet most of them were too mature. If I were them, I would have walked up to the birthday girl and given her a piece of my mind for being so stupid to rejoice over turning a year old at a place where celebration is a term seldom felt. But I was the birthday girl, and as I felt heavy hearted celebrating my 23rd year, I felt it was time to behave my age.

I had a rewind and replay session of few sulky moments in my life, where I felt God was being too unreasonable. Forget counting my blessings, I started weighing my life on the basis of these problematic situations, which weren't that bad coming to think of it now. As much as a self-boosting process that day (at the Cancer centre) had been, everyone deserves happiness at any cost. But we belong to an unbalanced universe, where it's the imperfections that complete the viscious circle of life. I understood how hard it was for me to acknowledge the gift of life as a boon, rather than a tally board between who is right and wrong. Rumi was so precise when he said we'll meet in a field beyond right and wrong doings. And here I am, in that field, looking at the unclear shadows of the sunny side of life :)

In and out the idiot box !

Television is not only a source of visual entertainment but a means of relieving boredom. There exists the old school, which believes in reviving tradition and in remaining deep rooted followed by the new school, which is into glorifying anything and everything to gain viewership. I was surprised to see a leading actress and her fiancé face the heat in a recent interview on a leading Malayalam channel. Their romance was being publicly exposed, imposing questions on its credibility like, if the actress took the right decision by getting engaged to a married man who was seeking divorce from his first wife. There were rebellious justifications from the couple's side followed by fiery questions by the journalist. The couple shared their happy times which were juxtaposed with tears, too. I couldn't understand the big scene that was created to entice spectators. It's a fact that the couple faced this interview with courage and the demeaning process of exposing their personal space was done with their consent. But, the channel would have never come up with such a steaming concept if there weren't any spectators, right? What fun do we, as spectators, get in showing such worthless curiosity in someone's agony? I mean, coming to think of it, whether they get married or not is really not our business!! What have we come down to as viewers, and most importantly as humans?

 Are we running out of talent, or is it just a coincidence that reality shows have been shelved to weekends due to lack of viewership? I have nothing against them, just that they are a little too glittery in my otherwise lucid life. I have a feeling that spectators are taken for granted too often that we're expected to lick every bit of the dish they serve. I know it's easier to shut up and change into some channel that satisfies me in a better way. But, what is it that actually satisfies us? Watching a star couple being cross questioned over their marital decisions? Certainly not. Or maybe, yes! Then it's time to start worrying about what we have become.

Even in the recent Guwahati molestation case, though the girl's face was blurred, her stripping was evident in the video which was being replayed throughout the day. It was Times Now that took the humbling decision of not telecasting it anymore, as it made no sense. While we may never stop referring to the TV as the 'Idiot box' .. who are the actual idiots here - creative channel people who cater such insensitivity , or the viewers who buy it ?!?

Problem child

Here I am, bed ridden with one of the most easily communicable sicknesses, the common cold. In the silence of my bedroom, I seek something beyond the ticking of the clock to accompany my loneliness. I am, interestingly, on a self-discovery mode. Having experienced a cold-prone childhood, ice creams and other cold savouries were told to be my perennial enemies. Little did my parents know that I would outsmart them into including these edibles in my regular diet, so much so that now I am daring enough to have one even on the day of my concerts! Don't get me started on how good I sound on all those occasions ;)
Apparently, they affect the vocal chords over a period of time and the unlucky few, like me, will end up coughing at old age, while Asha Bhonsle would still be judging Indian Idol. But my idea of not giving up ice creams revolve around a totally different logic. I am in the process of making myself immune to them :D . Ok! Stop there, Mr. know-it-all, who is prepared to attack me with a scientific theory that'll prove otherwise :p !

Aruna Shanbaug, around 40 years back, was a smart young lady who planned her life with great conviction, only to be hit irreversibly by fate. A single rape by a sweeper, which was an act of revenge, dented her life forever, multiplying pain and sheer torture by several amounts. While people from all over India visited KEM Hospital to get a glimpse of the 'damsel in distress', she became just another 'object of display'. Captivated in a single room for forty years, it's the spirit in her that keeps her alive and kicking even today! In this vegetative state, all I would pray for her is euthanasia, though I might be denying the hope within her, despite diminishing health. Pinki Virani, a journalist, has written 'Aruna's Story' which is a true account of the rape and its aftermath. She initiated the request to allow mercy killing for Aruna and has been unsuccessful so far.

...and every time I read of such pain-stricken stories, I instantly forget all the pain in my life, which half of the time is in my thoughts rather than in reality. But the fact is it all creeps in once I'm over with empathizing. Our problem is actually our problem and no once can ever get it how much ever they try empathizing. Some smart tweeter had once said that - if we were given a chance to sit across the table and exchange our problems with others, within five minutes we would leave back with our own.

Like Chris Martin had sung in Coldplay's 'For you' .

Everyone of us is scared
Everyone of us is hurt
Everyone of us has hope

Melle Kollum - New Mix !!

Singing melle kollum was a different learning experience for me. Being a part of 22 Female Kottayam was actually unplanned. It all began with doing the tracks for Rex ettan, for the video shoot of the songs. But eventually my voice ended up in the main version, too, only because of him. And when Aashiq felt that he wanted to try out a single female voice, representing Tessa, he invited me to do the 3rd track, Neeyo, which is composed by Bijibalji.

My favourite is Melle Kollum. I guess deep down everyone is a romantic. I am one, too. For someone like me who has a two-way communication with music, I can best express my heart and mind and soul via music.  I remember Rex ettan asking if I am in love a few days before recording this song, to which I asked if it would affect how I rendered. He just smiled. Music is such. I like how I can be just another person in love, soul-singing every word, justifying romance. Melle Kollum is an out of the world song. As in, it's abstract and larger than life. I was asked to sing my portions dominantly, as at that part Tessa takes a huge step in her life by moving in with Cyril. Rex ettan wanted power in the singing, one that comes with security in love, trust in a relationship. That is why the words used for my part are vast and open and infinite, like horizon.

Chirage..thelivaname..

ulle..ullil melle... veeshum thennale

kanave.. kadale ...

I didn't know how Tessa actually must have felt.. till I got to see the video. Beautifully shot in Bangalore, Aashiq Abu took it to a different level altogether, with an enticing chemistry between Rima and Fahadh. Penned by Venugopalji, Rex ettan just did a new mix for the song.. and I would like you guys to give it a listen..

This new mix is for his satisfaction, as an independent musician. So here is melle kollum..

"blank"

blank.

blank space.

blank space filled with umpteen ideas.

random and familiar; inspiring, yet deceiving

on the outset, my imagination begins to clutter, feeling confused. 

but now they align into several parallel paths

not meant to collide, until my mind wants it to.

Cherish the day

This is the second time that a bird, whose breed I'm unaware of, is nestling her babies over the highest layer of the chandelier, upstairs. Though I've heard of how beautiful the process of giving birth is, it never occurred to me until I got to experience its warmth in real . Every day the bird would bring layers of twigs to construct a nest, a home for her eggs which were soon-to-become babies. The very first time the eggs hatched, baby birds would twitch their neck upwards to gulp whatever little grains their mother fed them with. Eventually the day arrived when they had grown big enough to fly, filling the room with plenty of chirps and pips. As melancholic a day it was, it soon succumbed to silence when they flew out of their ways, to explore a world of their own.

The same process repeated and now the new ones are in their feeding days, occasionally taking a peep from the top of the four layered chandelier. Beautiful. Now I get it when they say how giving life to something is one of the most beautiful creations of God. It will be a dry day when they too will leave their temporary home. Life is beautiful, no doubt! Perhaps, what makes it beautiful is realizing how useful we can make it by nestling every second with utmost will.

The presence of shady people in your life shouldn't make you hate life. Somewhere, they have been hurt too, to be that shady. It's unfair to blame them or your destiny when things don't go as planned. Today you're happy, and tomorrow could be just another unhappy day. But who cares? It's just another sunset that will soon be followed by a sunrise, if you're willing enough...to let go!

I'm glad that the expensive chandelier came of some use to the birds, who could generate life, instead of being covered in dust. See, now this was not something that was called for while purchasing it, right? Sometimes, the most unexpected could play a pivotal role in shaping who you are.

So...  "Let go, let go, because there's beauty in the breakdown" - Imogen Heap

As I end this blog, the birdy is now guarding her sleeping beauties, without winking an eye.