Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Quest for a mind without fear

I have been trying to listen to my inner soul, unintentionally, tossing sides of my cerebral area, deeply sunk into wandering thoughts. I have been experiencing a range of mood swings, most of which are positive and some of which are dark. The only relief I get from the burgeoning thoughts is the music I have bestowed myself upon. As I listen to them, enjoying the lines and the notes, I can feel the music listening to me, my thoughts. Maybe that's why I connect with it, because it connects with me, each time .It's a force that I seldom fail to notice.

Sometimes I just feel how easy a task it would have been for God to thump us upon expecting individuals, who may or may not want to create a generation after them. What are even funnier are the qualities with which he ornaments our souls. Everything is a choice, they say, isn't it? But, what's the right choice is the real problem. This is the quest for my inner soul, I believe.

From birth we imbibe the culture we are born to live with. I succumbed to it as a child, entrusting upon me the inevitable changes of my culture. But, what really is my culture about? Beyond the means of respecting our elders and being obedient, there are others virtues we are expected to follow. Hard work, patience ,tolerance, being ambitious are some qualities we are expected to practice and doing ultimately what your parents think is right for you, or rather what the society has decided to ,unanimously, having a 'secured and safe future'. At one point, I only wanted to make my dad happy, do exactly what he wants me to do with my life, and he has very impeccably chosen the right path for me. But, what he and I were unaware of, for a long time, was that the journey is to be done alone. The journey, from the rugged terrain of scorching heat and dry land to where there are flowing streams and flowers and butterflies. And now, I am still on a quest for my inner soul.

Abruptly leaving this post with lines from The Dewarist - "The story continues with Minds without Fear"


Mohamed said...

''The story continues with Minds without Fear"

Hearing others helping us to find our soul, absorbing virtues will lead us to truth.

Let start searching you on others 'you'-

Truly psychological!
Nice work!

Nikhil Menon said...

Its a never ending search for the inner soul, Neha. We do it all the way from the moment we are born to the last microcosm of the death which engulfs us. And in between this, life goes along the ups and downs into a climax. And these crests n troughs are precisely what makes the journey worth it.

You will just do fine! :)


kalyan said...

first 2 paras, same pinch

Doc said...

It might sound 'cliched' when one says Follow the heart, but the truth is that is really the direction you should pick

External influences are something we gotta contend with all throughout our lives as a social being, but making the choices in life or rather having that 'gut' feeling that you know this is what you should do.. will always hold you in good stead. The strength lies within, follow the heart and live without regrets. Happy Diwali!

vineeth said...

well said and well shared, but mind me asking if ever you thought that every simple decision you took lead you to where you have placed yourself in the hearts of those who truly are music devotees. As a child every child dreams but when grown up and achieve those dreams are those who have the inner strength and at point finally understands who they are under the sub concious. Well whatever you do please do not stop your venture in life as you have real talent in you.

Vineeth Vijayan

prasanna venkatesh.b said...

nice article, I think choices are superfluous. there are no accidents or wrong turns in this quest :) great to see you being profiled in The Hindu! peace

Anonymous said...

You are never alone, never will you be able to do your own thing exclusively, you defer to some for sometime and hopefully, most of the other time, defy others to do your own thing. You are a social animal, you are not an island, but then you have your own private space.

nikhimenon said...

saw yur profile in the hindu today.honestly till yest i dint know that yu were the one who sang the 'premikkumbol' track in snp.

wishn u a bright future.

Anonymous said...

Neha, just saw some of your videos on YouTube, Outcast Vocals? You were all terrific, and I love your voice and singing capabilities. I was curious to know how you felt about music composition. I volunteer with an organization called Asha for Education, and I was wondering if you would be interested in singing for Asha (www.ashanet.org). I would love to hear back from you and discuss the opportunity. Regardless of what you choose, I do think you're singing is absolutely amazing! :) Keep up the amazing talent!!!

As for your post, I thought I'd share my two cents :) I find that life is a journey to finding our inner soul, probably not something we're actually meant to find in our lifespan, but something, the journey of which is more insightful that the soul itself.

Neha S. Nair said...

Thank you so much Jhanvi.. I would love to work for Asha for Education.. You can contact me with further details at nehasasi@live.com