Saturday, February 20, 2010

The Rival

I discovered creativity the first time I ever realized the meaning of what music is. I still do not know how to define what music is or creativity is. I have always been bad at giving scientific explanation about terms and conditions that define our life. But what is more important is to experience it. Whenever I sit in front of my Guruji, unaware of my thoughts, he seems to react exactly the way I want him to. It was very hard for me initially to find out mistakes in me because I never came from a traditional musical family. No one can sing at home. But they have great sense of music. But it was still hard for me to imbibe certain aspects when I was on a competitive platform. I still am. But now it's different. Back then I was always trained to give more importance to the element of performance. Or in simple terms, to have the guts to get on stage and sing your heart out. I was a little girl of 9 when I first participated in a singing competition held at the Indian Social Club, Muscat. Unaware of the stiff competition I sang just the way my Guruji taught me. If he was happy, I was happy. When I started winning prizes year after year I realized how good I am at singing and though my parents kept emphasizing on the importance of performance I knew deep inside that I wanted to win. Not to justify my singing with the acceptance of a trophy with my name carved on it but to be able to wear a new dress and to shine with glory that I am a star among the other winners.

The element of fame has never ever been attractive to me. Because as I grew up, understood that getting a prize makes me happy but to work harder the next year to maintain my level made me feel responsible. Responsible to not only my parents or the judges or to a couple of well wishers but to my Guruji and to myself. I woke up and turned a new page of my chapter to learn that I need to give the same kind of quality whenever I perform.

I have been denied a prize several times. I have also been denied the eligibility of getting a prize several times. Has it made me angry? Yes, but only at that point of time. Later on I understood that how I can't imagine writing with my toes , certain people don't think I am good enough to be their fingers. Since then I learnt the art of forgiveness. It's so beautiful to forgive and very hard to forget. I can't get it out of my head. I then agreed that keeping such bad events in my mind will always make me a little more cautious the next time I take a step ahead.

Many people have inspired me to practice, to keep striving harder, to never lose hope and to never speak ill of anyone. At some point life made me realize the value of the talent I have been blessed with. It's a happy responsibility I have to live with for the rest of my life. To achieve certain things , practice is not all that is required , we need to also have the courage to face struggles. But then I felt at times that I am wasting all my energy in facing these struggles, then where is the time to practice? or to live life? The answer is in knowing who is blocking you. We ourselves decide who we want to block our paths. I know it's pretty appalling to read this but when we want to give in ourselves to struggle , struggle will always be after us. I don't want to get in depth about such a subject where I myself am experiencing it right now. But the key to get rid of all the pain, struggles, negativeness around you is to compete with yourself. You are your biggest competitor. You are the only one who can beat yourself to secure the King's throne. Don't leave things to lady luck or the almighty everytime cos each time you do that you are only going to become a couch potato. Look into yourself to realize your powers and make them work. It's all within us. When we compete with ourself, we never lose. Remember that and you'll realize how lucky you are to be breathing on this beautiful earth. When you realize about the biggest competitor within you , you will be able to face the opportunities in your life instead of calling it a struggle.


Anonymous said...

nehaaa I love true..well written.. very inspiring

phani kalyan said...

wow wow, you spoke my heart, felt like reading my own blog, except for the prizes part..cudn't agree more..kedi ledi pilla nuvvuga :P

Neha Sasikumar said...

@Fani Nee valle dillone yedho mayo hayo hayo mayo :) :)

V I K said...

Wah. People in love :P.. Nice article

Neha Sasikumar said...

pple in luv? haha.. that's the line of my telugu song which has been composed by Fani.. Everyone's not as lucky as you viks ;)

phani kalyan said...

awwwww :D

dad said...

very very nice article.

Neha Sasikumar said...


Thank you so much. You are the inspiration behind these words. You always will be.

sandy said...

didnt know u could analyze spiritually, a trend i see in you just recently and not before and reading this confirms it.Welcome to the club

Neha Sasikumar said...

Haha! Sometimes knowledge weighs much lower than experiences. Not that I am very experienced but certain situations in life has fortunately made me realize my strengths..and I am trying to spread it via blogging.

Vishnu Visakh S said...

mm... feel like ur heart speaking...
Inspiration- the magical word. Every people likes to be inspired in one way or the other. Neha, you r inspiring urself thts a positive thing. It could make u feel confident in moving through the success line throughout ur life.

Every life has ups and downs so as you. Never worry about the downs, as somebody said, "failure is the stepping stone to success". If there is a negative, positive is smiling at you at the opposite side.

Parents are the biggest inspiration in anyones life. Think of a situation where u were not inspired by your parents in childhood days. mmm..we must be proud to get such parents right..!!!!

Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar. Very familiar name even to a small child; isnt' it?

How did he become world famous??
No Doubt, its his talent.

Now i am quoting that magical word again- 'Inspiration'.

Today we are surrounded by lots of Engineers, Doctors etc. etc. etc.
Think of a situation where parents of Sachin scolded him for playing cricket for so long time and inspiring him to hold the pen instead of a cricket bat.
Today he might have become another engineer or doctor like we see everyday. His life could have ended like anyone else's...nothing special..i guess..

He got the right inspiration from his parents that made him to boost his confidence, and in later life he inspired himself to achieve the greater heights.

Struggles were there in his life too, but his self-belief helped him to move forward.
Now Sachin is considered as one of the greatest player in Cricket.

Neha, I hope i m not running out of the

Run faster as you can....your dream is waiting for you at the finishing point. You might fall down on the way, dont' care..stand up...move forward and move forward...!!!

Vishnu Visakh S said...

just like to inspire u in my own way.... thts y...(itra vaari valichu ezhutiyathu..ha ha) :D

Neha Sasikumar said...

Vishnu: That is so sweet !!! Thank you so much :) It means a lot. Keep inspiring people this way .. all the best to you too !!

Vishnu Visakh S said...