Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Lesson I learnt

After my music lessons I had to visit my relative's place where a lot of guests had gathered for no specific occassion. Since visiting their place was not there in my evening schedule, I dressed very simple as it was only the music class that was listed on it. So against my schedule I broke into the dining where the ladies were busy ghup-shupping. So I stood there like a nice girl waiting.... God knows for what. But for some reason one of them noticed me and asked me why am I so badly dressed. Now, I have always been a simple girl.. not too fancy ..neither too plain. I dress according to the occassion. And I am very particular about not having any fancy accessories on when I adorn western cloths. But people out here accessorise pretty much the same way for any kind of wear or occassion.My crime was that I didn't wear any bangles or gold or flowers. By the look at their face I could even be hanged to death. Like I mentioned earlier, I wasn't prepared today so I replied saying it's just a music class and not a party or something to look gordy. But then they had to go on and on. And on.

Then the topic shifted into what are the things I be precise 'girly' things. If you still didnt get it , refers to cooking, cleaning, etc. Honestly I can't even make tea. I can't 'thoothu varal' .. if that is the kind of work you categorize as 'girly'.. then I don't really deserve to be a girl. And all the hype they created out of all this! They even threatened my saying they'll send me to their granny's house .. who will make it a point to send me back as a girl. Maybe she is hitler... but who am I to comment? Next, they targeted my neice who is 9. They have already taught her to hold a 'choolu' now for the rest.. I guess hitler will do. I told my mom about this and she said girls ,then and now are not taught to do this primarily..atleast where my mom was brought up that was the case. She said that my granny never let her help her in any household chores coz she felt childhood was the age to groom one's talents and interests and most importantly education. She said that mom would learn to manage the house after marriage, it's an inborn thing apparently. And hence my mom has never enforced any kind of work which is not required for me. I was too busy for all this. Singing, dancing, painting, sporting all the way through my childhood hardly gave me time to even watch cartoons. I must say, a chilhood like mine is rare. On the other hand, education was given primary importance in my family. Dad always says 'The only thing that money can't buy, theifs can't steal is a man's knowledge'. He always told me that money making shouldn't be the only aim in life and that by educating yourself, you increase the literate. In my case I educate a family cos I am a woman. Yet, once again I have to thank God with so much gratitude for blessing me with parents who mean the universe to me. They haven't left out a thing in mine and sister's bringing up. Everything from going for sleepovers to not missing any tutions. From touching the elder's feet to worshipping almighty. From the late night walks at the beach to wake up as an early bird the next morning. For everything...... thanks.. mom and dad.


(¯`•._.•[Raaji]•._.•´¯) said...

awesome post :)
I suffer from the same issue. Not being as 'girly' as they would like me to be.
but you know it all comes down to how you are comfortable with your life. and if you like it, then who cares about others :-)

Neha Sasikumar said...

Yes, I am learning to ignore them. The world's moving and so should we. There is nothing like a girl job or boy job. Guys can very well clean a room and cook.

g-man said...

well can eat outside most of the time when you get independent :) this is why i hate places where all my relatives bunch up and talk. i try to avoid them most of the time, or at least hang out with my cousins. i guess my relatives are pretty used to me by now, so they prefer not to comment. the only thing they say is 'you're getting thinner by the day' and i can't help that :D

Devika said...

Dear Neha,

Oops I know how you must be feeling, but cheer up buddy, just join in the gang, There are zillions going thru this, Nothing much to do , but merely say OYE, and move on. Here we need girls so culturaly correct that other things do tend to take a back seat, but then its a matter of personal choice.As long as you have the support of your parents who know whats best , who cares??
Oye Fikr na kar yaar , Aish kar!!


Nancy said...

Hehe good post. I 'suffered' from the same problem. 'Well-Wishers' were more worried about it than my own.
Now look at me...I can bake an APPLE PIE:-o.
Everything has its time. And when the time comes we all have to bow to it whether we want to or not.

Hi am nancy. Blog hopped my way in:-)